Hello everyone! I am excited to announce that this will be my last blog post on this site. I have been asked to move Geriatrics and the City to a new blog site called ChicagoNow. Here I will be able to acquire a lot more traffic, and network with fellow bloggers. I am hoping to make the move next week, and I will keep you all posted on where and how to find me!
Man, these people take their Bingo freaking seriously!! From the 5-7 minutes each of the winners usually take to carefully and methodically pick out their prize off of the prize cart, to the color-coded stacks they make with their bingo chips, to the sheer concentration that is exhibited during this activity that I never see from most of them any other time, it's clear to me that this is a BIG DEAL! But the moment that wins them all was yesterday when one of the particularly gruff and tough residents told her daughter, who has to play for her while she watches, "You better win, or I'll break your legs." Luckily, she won a game, and her daughter gets to keep her legs. For now...
The ability to be territorial and domineering is not lost with age, clearly. It a lot of cases, it is all they have left, and they exercise it constantly. Another interesting example of this is with a mother and son who live on the same floor. She is 98, and he is in his 70's. He is rather young to be there, but has some specific problems that make it necessary. I will call him, "Jack". She is tiny and has the cutest voice, that kind of makes her sound like a witch. I will call her, "Abigail". Today she was wearing a neon yellow Jackson Five t-shirt, and rolled herself aimlessly through the hallways most of the day. He is a man of very few words, he loves chocolate, and he likes to sleep ALOT! As his mother, she still looks out for him and gets very concerned about his well-being. Sometimes she gets upset that he is sleeping so much, and because she doesn't see him when he is awake, she assumes that he isn't waking up, and she becomes worried. Recently, I took her by his room, to prove that he was sleeping and that he is ok, so that she would calm down. I open the door, and push her in, and she sees him sleeping and very loudly, in her cute little witch voice says, "Jack. It's your mother talking to you. Are you sound asleep or just pretending?" He woke up and smiled at her. She waved her little hand at him, and we let him go back to sleep. A mother's work is never done.
Today, Kentucky pulled me aside and said, "Are we still friends?" I said, "Of course we are! I will never stop being your friend or stop loving you." Then I asked her, "What's my name." She said, "I can't remember. I'll just call you my 'boo-key girl'." Later, I asked her to tell me a joke. She replied with, "What's up that won't come down?" I answered, "I don't know, what?" She without even cracking a smile said, "Your britches." I said, "You are so funny, you know that?" She retorted, "If you say so."
Yesterday was probably the last really nice day we will get here in Chicago. So I took them all outside, one by one, or in small groups, and either took them on walks around the neighborhood, or we sat on the patio together. I definitely got my exercise in for the day! One that was especially difficult, but rewarding was a gentleman I will call "Bill." He is in his late 80's or early 90's and is a really tall and large-framed man. He is quite heavy. He has cancer, but is mentally all there. He used to design computer programs and is very smart. Whenever he wins Bingo, he picks out a prize for his granddaughter instead of himself. Anyways, I took him out for a walk last week, and when I did, he told me that he had not been outside since he moved into the home, and that was over a year ago. In fact, he rarely leaves his room. However, I have noticed that more and more lately, he has been coming out and joining us with our activities. Needless to say, he was thrilled with the walk. I probably pushed his heavy chair around for a good mile or so. So, yesterday, he came to me and specifically asked me to take him outside again, which I gladly did. He didn't even know what neighborhood he was living in, or anything about the area. I am very thankful that I have a job that allows me to get outside when it is nice out, instead of being cooped up. That I can get in my exercise time during work time. And that I can get somebody out of their house for the first time in over a year!
Now for a sad announcement. I think we all knew it was bound to happen eventually. I have lost my first resident to heaven. I knew going into this job that this was going to happen, and I was prepared. I feel honored to have helped take care of her, and to have hopefully brightened her life while she was here. I haven't spoken of her before, so I will tell you about her briefly right now. I am going to call her "Margaret". You see, she had a stroke some time ago, and right as she had the stroke she called out her sister's name, "Margaret". As a result, that became one of the few words she could say. She could say "hi", "yes", and "no". Other than that, it was just "Margaret". So when you would have a conversation with her, she thought she was saying exactly what she should be saying, but she was just repeating this name over and over again, with different inflections and what not. She loved watching CSI type shows and had seen them all repeatedly. One day, I went in her room and sat with her while she was watching one. Within a couple of minutes, I thought I had figured out who the culprit was. So I said, "He did it, didn't he?" She smiled and said, "Yes!! Margaret margaret margaret, Margaret MARGARET margaret, margaret." She spent most of her time in her room. So I didn't get to spend as much time with her as some of the others, but I did get to know her sister, who came to visit her almost daily. "Margaret" was very kind and will be missed.
I know that as time goes on, and I get more attached to certain people, some of the passings will be harder. But I prepared myself for this going in. This quote from one of my favorite shows, "Derek", accurately sums up my outlook on this situation, and the way I plan to encounter these moments, "I see people out
of life. Somebody sees you in, like a midwife, and I see people out. I
make sure that they can go at peace with everything in order. I have
been with a lot of people as they
die. It is a privilege. I am not scared of it."
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Sunday, October 26, 2014
You Would Make a Good Wife
Hey there old people enthusiasts! Sorry I have been MIA for awhile. October has been out of control! Three weddings, two trips out of town, planning a special event comedy show, performing in multiple shows, three volunteer gigs at Second City, and multiple other engagements have left me with no extra time. Plus, this whole "Mercury in retrograde" business was REAL, and totally threw me and the old people through a loop. But rest assured I have been documenting the cute stories and have a whole bunch for ya!
These last few weeks in the home have been very tiring. I am convinced that the goings on with the solar system greatly affect people, especially the old ones. The thing is that the moon affects the tide, and we are made of mostly water, and when you already have problems with your head, such as dementia, it can really screw with your body and brain. For example, on the day of the lunar eclipse, Kentucky couldn't even speak. All she did all day was cry and frantically look around as if she didn't know where she was. When I would ask her questions, she literally couldn't form words, and she didn't recognize anyone. The next day, she slept ALL day. These things happen when people have these types of conditions, but it really gets extreme when the solar system is out of whack!
However, once that passed, I had a couple of really good days with Kentucky. 1 - I got my first kiss from her. 2 - She told me she loved me first, without me having to say it to prompt her. I walked in the room one morning and her eyes lit up and she exclaimed, "There you are! I love you!" 3 - The next day she said, "Hi! I love you! Where am I?" Haha! So I have started spending a lot of time trying to convince her that she lives there and that it is a good thing that she does. It really seemed to be working, even other staff noticed that she didn't say anything about going home for a couple of weeks. However, unfortunately,we've had a couple of set backs with that this last week due to some people telling her conflicting info to try to calm her down, not realizing that it is the wrong approach. But I am working on coaching them, and working more with her on it, and hopefully repairing the damage that has been done. As a result, now, she thinks I am lying to her when I tell her she lives there, and it makes her very angry at me. It is frustrating that poor judgement on other people's part put me back at square one, but I refuse to give up.
Kentucky has had some of her classic witticisms though! Here you go:
1 - Me - "Whats new with you?" Kentucky - "I guess this is now."
2 - Normally, I say "I love you," and she says, "I love you the most cause I'm the oldest." However, on a particularly foggy day for her, I told her I loved her, and she looked and me and said in a very confused manner, "I love you too. I'm much older than you."
3 - Me - "What are you thinking about." Her - "Having a good fling with 'The Intern'"
4 - We were talking about The Three Stooges and she says (about Curly), "I'll take the dumb one" Me - "Why?". Her - "You get by with a lot of stuff."
So something that really bothers me is having a dirty face. I am constantly working on my skin care, and when I look at the residents, I notice a lot of them are not having their faces properly washed. So I brought in some all natural aloe facial cleanser wipes, and I have been going around and cleaning their faces.Which leads me to one of my favorite things that happened when giving them these mini-facials. I was cleaning a man's face, and one of the women sitting there said, "You would make a good wife." I joked, "My ex-husband didn't think so!" They, of course, laughed!
But this is part of a larger self discovery. I guess I already knew some of this to be true of myself, but the job is reinforcing it. I am HIGHLY independent. And I tend to expect the same out of all people I consider to be healthy and capable people. Therefore, I tend to have no patience whatsoever for most people, which is to my detriment. However, pretty much all of my patience is reserved for people who cannot do things for themselves (except kids, still haven't figured out why on that one), so I feel like I have this endless untapped well of unconditional love, patience, and support for these residents. I am just truly lucky to be able to do this, and excited to continue learning things from them and about myself!
They are needy, demanding, irrational, and dramatic (a lot like children), but for some reason, I totally love it. I think it is just because they have lived this whole big long life and have worked really hard and now it is our turn to take care of them. But I am still trying to figure out all the reasons why this works for me. I am still reflecting and in discovery mode. They really do let you know when they need something. From "Lorna Doone" (the 98-yr old who loves Lorna Doone shortbread cookies") wailing and yelling, "My bottom is burning!" to "Patsy" getting furious with me because she wants new socks, more bobby pins, different eyeliner, new shoes, and more red lipstick. And calling me a "bitch" because I wouldn't take her outside when I was trying to get everyone to church. To Kentucky trying to slap me and calling me a "liar" because I am telling her this is where she lives. I spend me whole day calming people down. Which calms me down. I don't know why. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and I tend to have the ability to get worked up very easily, but working with these guys helps me forget about my own shit. For some reason, I have always been the type who is able to calm myself when others around me are freaking out. For Lorna Doone, I came to her side and asked her what was wrong. Since her "bottom was burning", I decided she needed to get off of it and go lay in bed. For Patsy, I took her outside later that day and had a nice long conversation with her about all of her cosmetic needs, and she ended up being pretty happy with me by the end of the day. And for Kentucky, I will just keep giving her hugs and kisses, telling her I love her, and trying to make her comfortable in her new home. The act of calming others, calms me.
I will end this post where I ended the day last week. I was doing trivia with them, because they LOVE trivia. And one of this quizzes had trivia about hugs and kisses. Once of the questions was: "What is a 'bear hug'?" One of the residents answered correctly, and then I asked her if she wanted a "bear hug"? She did. Turns out, ALL of them did. So I went around the large circle giving each and every one of them a big bear hug. Even the lady who sits in the corner, doesn't want to be around people, and doesn't speak wanted one. When I gave it to her, she kissed me on the cheek.
These last few weeks in the home have been very tiring. I am convinced that the goings on with the solar system greatly affect people, especially the old ones. The thing is that the moon affects the tide, and we are made of mostly water, and when you already have problems with your head, such as dementia, it can really screw with your body and brain. For example, on the day of the lunar eclipse, Kentucky couldn't even speak. All she did all day was cry and frantically look around as if she didn't know where she was. When I would ask her questions, she literally couldn't form words, and she didn't recognize anyone. The next day, she slept ALL day. These things happen when people have these types of conditions, but it really gets extreme when the solar system is out of whack!
However, once that passed, I had a couple of really good days with Kentucky. 1 - I got my first kiss from her. 2 - She told me she loved me first, without me having to say it to prompt her. I walked in the room one morning and her eyes lit up and she exclaimed, "There you are! I love you!" 3 - The next day she said, "Hi! I love you! Where am I?" Haha! So I have started spending a lot of time trying to convince her that she lives there and that it is a good thing that she does. It really seemed to be working, even other staff noticed that she didn't say anything about going home for a couple of weeks. However, unfortunately,we've had a couple of set backs with that this last week due to some people telling her conflicting info to try to calm her down, not realizing that it is the wrong approach. But I am working on coaching them, and working more with her on it, and hopefully repairing the damage that has been done. As a result, now, she thinks I am lying to her when I tell her she lives there, and it makes her very angry at me. It is frustrating that poor judgement on other people's part put me back at square one, but I refuse to give up.
Kentucky has had some of her classic witticisms though! Here you go:
1 - Me - "Whats new with you?" Kentucky - "I guess this is now."
2 - Normally, I say "I love you," and she says, "I love you the most cause I'm the oldest." However, on a particularly foggy day for her, I told her I loved her, and she looked and me and said in a very confused manner, "I love you too. I'm much older than you."
3 - Me - "What are you thinking about." Her - "Having a good fling with 'The Intern'"
4 - We were talking about The Three Stooges and she says (about Curly), "I'll take the dumb one" Me - "Why?". Her - "You get by with a lot of stuff."
So something that really bothers me is having a dirty face. I am constantly working on my skin care, and when I look at the residents, I notice a lot of them are not having their faces properly washed. So I brought in some all natural aloe facial cleanser wipes, and I have been going around and cleaning their faces.Which leads me to one of my favorite things that happened when giving them these mini-facials. I was cleaning a man's face, and one of the women sitting there said, "You would make a good wife." I joked, "My ex-husband didn't think so!" They, of course, laughed!
But this is part of a larger self discovery. I guess I already knew some of this to be true of myself, but the job is reinforcing it. I am HIGHLY independent. And I tend to expect the same out of all people I consider to be healthy and capable people. Therefore, I tend to have no patience whatsoever for most people, which is to my detriment. However, pretty much all of my patience is reserved for people who cannot do things for themselves (except kids, still haven't figured out why on that one), so I feel like I have this endless untapped well of unconditional love, patience, and support for these residents. I am just truly lucky to be able to do this, and excited to continue learning things from them and about myself!
They are needy, demanding, irrational, and dramatic (a lot like children), but for some reason, I totally love it. I think it is just because they have lived this whole big long life and have worked really hard and now it is our turn to take care of them. But I am still trying to figure out all the reasons why this works for me. I am still reflecting and in discovery mode. They really do let you know when they need something. From "Lorna Doone" (the 98-yr old who loves Lorna Doone shortbread cookies") wailing and yelling, "My bottom is burning!" to "Patsy" getting furious with me because she wants new socks, more bobby pins, different eyeliner, new shoes, and more red lipstick. And calling me a "bitch" because I wouldn't take her outside when I was trying to get everyone to church. To Kentucky trying to slap me and calling me a "liar" because I am telling her this is where she lives. I spend me whole day calming people down. Which calms me down. I don't know why. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and I tend to have the ability to get worked up very easily, but working with these guys helps me forget about my own shit. For some reason, I have always been the type who is able to calm myself when others around me are freaking out. For Lorna Doone, I came to her side and asked her what was wrong. Since her "bottom was burning", I decided she needed to get off of it and go lay in bed. For Patsy, I took her outside later that day and had a nice long conversation with her about all of her cosmetic needs, and she ended up being pretty happy with me by the end of the day. And for Kentucky, I will just keep giving her hugs and kisses, telling her I love her, and trying to make her comfortable in her new home. The act of calming others, calms me.
I will end this post where I ended the day last week. I was doing trivia with them, because they LOVE trivia. And one of this quizzes had trivia about hugs and kisses. Once of the questions was: "What is a 'bear hug'?" One of the residents answered correctly, and then I asked her if she wanted a "bear hug"? She did. Turns out, ALL of them did. So I went around the large circle giving each and every one of them a big bear hug. Even the lady who sits in the corner, doesn't want to be around people, and doesn't speak wanted one. When I gave it to her, she kissed me on the cheek.
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