I am not a professional writer. So there will probably be grammar, vocab, and spelling errors. Deal with it! :) But I am a professional comic, and nursing home activities dept. employee. So this will be about the things that happen at my job, with my own little twist and perspective on it. I may also, from time to time, throw in little stories about random interesting things that happen to me in this crazy city of Chicago, too! Who knows?!
This first post is a copy and paste of all of my nursing home stories I have posted on FB so far. Then I will try to write new posts every couple of days. I hope you enjoy!
September 5:
Today was my first day as an Activities Assistant in a nursing home. It was the best day! I am really happy.
September 7:
Well today at work I was serenaded by a gent with Blue Hawaii by Elvis Presley, then he asked me if I wanted a drink from the bar, and proceeded to yell out for the "maître d" and "service" for the next few mins to order a drink for me. Needless to say they did not come. I really only do attract old men don't I? #nursinghometales
September 8:
Today at work we were playing bingo, and I was calling the numbers, a volunteer was teasing me and giving me a hard time that I wasn't doing a good job because I wasn't calling out the numbers that the residents she was helping had. Then I asked one of the residents if I was doing a good job, and she said, deadpan, "I think you are doing the best job YOU can do." Best underhanded compliment I have ever been given. #nursinghometales
September 10:
Down side to working at nursing home, I come home smelling like a nursing home. Up side to working at a nursing home, EVERYTHING ELSE!!!!! #lovemyjob
September 14:
My favorite thing from the nursing home last week: There is a resident who is a southern gal with a wicked sense of humor. However, she is sad a lot because her family (who lives in Chicago), never comes to see her. She cries several times every day. Well I have taken a shining to her, and her to me. So I sit with her, hug her, hold her hands, make jokes, etc. Last week I was playing some music for them and I started doing a little dance to make her laugh. She laughed and her eyes sparkled and she called it a "sexy dance" (it was just a shoulder shimmy with a little bit of a hip twist). Later in the day she was having a fit and crying and the CNAs couldn't get her to eat lunch. So I came in and she got a big smile on her face and said she had been waiting for me, then I gave her a hug and did my "sexy dance" and she laughed and felt better and ate her lunch. I may be playing favorites. I just love her!!
September 16:
Well the residents tell me daily how much they love my outfits. Either they have great modern taste or I dress like an old lady. Either way, don't care!
September 16 announcement:
I need donations for the nursing home bingo prize cart! If you have stuff lying around that you don't want (please don't give me garbage or things in poor condition), that you think a senior citizen might enjoy getting as a prize, please let me know! I can come get it from you. The bingo prize cart is sparse, and it makes their day to get a cool prize. Clean out your cabinets! Let me know! (Things they like/want - Chicago Cubs, Bears and White Sox stuff. Clip on earrings. Bracelets (preferably expandable). Long necklaces (that can fit over their heads). Stuffed animals. Socks (not the thick kinds, but thinner ones). Puzzle books, esp. word finds.)
September 17:
Top 3 best things from today:
1 - I was working on the dementia floor for the 1st time today. We were playing wheel chair volleyball. One of the very young and mobile dementia residents was playing, but sitting in a chair too. She had a blanket wrapped around her waist. After about 30 mins of playing she got up to pick up the ball and the blanket fell off. Her mouth dropped open, turns out she wasn't wearing any pants or underwear. So, in sum: pantsless volleyball day at work.
2 - The president of the entire establishment asked me if he could sit
with me at lunch today. Very friendly. We chatted about comedy, Robin
Williams, movies, and other odds and ends. Sure is nice to finally work
for some head honchos who are approachable.
3 - There is a woman on the dementia floor who is very tiny and frail and screams at the top of her lungs quite frequently because she is just so scared and confused. She really just wants someone to sit with her and love on her. So while they played volleyball, I sat with her. I hugged her, rubbed her back, held her hands. She kept yelling, "Do you love me?" I would say, "Yes, I love you." Then she would grab my hands and kiss them. Then she would sing to me. So sweet!!!
September 18:
3 - There is a woman on the dementia floor who is very tiny and frail and screams at the top of her lungs quite frequently because she is just so scared and confused. She really just wants someone to sit with her and love on her. So while they played volleyball, I sat with her. I hugged her, rubbed her back, held her hands. She kept yelling, "Do you love me?" I would say, "Yes, I love you." Then she would grab my hands and kiss them. Then she would sing to me. So sweet!!!
September 18:
Ok
nursing home tales! Today was the day at the zoo!! Let's just say it
was a very tiring day for me! Always get great stories though.
1 - My favorite resident, the one from Kentucky, was one of the people who was getting to go to the zoo. She was very concerned that we were going to forget her. So I said, "(Her name, which I can't say), I will never in my whole life forget you. You know why?"
And she exclaims loudly and quite happily, "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!"
2 - When we were eating lunch at the picnic tables at the zoo, we were swarmed by tons of bees. Every one was freaking out, except for me and 'Kentucky'. We just kept eating our food. People were asking us why it didn't bother us. She didn't seem to be paying attention so I said, "it's because us southern gals have dealt with much worse creatures than bees, right?" And without missing a beat, without even shifting her eyes, and completely deadpan she said, "These city girls are afraid of everything."
3 - The resident, who last week I mentioned serenaded me and asked me if I wanted a drink from the bar, etc.., has a pretty poor memory. He sometimes remembers me, but as of late, I think I must remind him of someone he used to know. This has happened twice now, where he got a HUGE smile on his face when he saw me, exclaimed, "There's my girl!" Started playing with my hair and commenting on how he loves my long hair, then started kissing my hand, and asking where my ring was. He is a gentleman, but I def have a flirt on my hands!
4 - Cutest thing: These two very very very little old ladies who are in their late 90's, all hunched over, barely speak, were sitting on complete opposite sides of the room from each other. One comes in and sees the other and catches her eye, she raises her hand and does the cutest little wave to her with one little knobby finger, and smiles. The other one sees her and raises her little knarled curvy fingers and waves back. They both waved like a little kid would, slowly curling their little fingers and smiling at each other. It was soooo cute!!
5 - You really can make someone's day with the simplest gesture. There is a resident who gets more junk mail then I have ever seen in my life. She spends almost all day opening it and reading it with her magnifying glass. She then responds to ALL of it. Every last bit of it. She uses the return address labels that you get sent in your junk mail when they want you to donate to their charity. She has about 3 bags that hang off of her wheelchair at all times that are filled with junk, most of it is mail. Today she asked me to put a handful in the purple bag. Well the purple bag was a paper shopping bag that was completely falling apart. So instead, I went out to my car and grabbed a canvas shopping bag and brought it in and replaced her purple one. She literally was smiling so big. Grinning from ear to ear. She was SO thankful, and was smiling at me across the room for like 5 minutes after that. Just for giving her a better bag.
Ok, there is my super long post and all of my highlights from today. Now to lay on a heating pad and dope up on painkillers from pushing 200lbs in a wheelchair up ramps all over the zoo for several hours today. And to rest my mind from trying to coax Kentucky out of her panic attack at the zoo all day cause she wanted to go home and was cold. I am off for the next two days. See ya on the flip side!
1 - My favorite resident, the one from Kentucky, was one of the people who was getting to go to the zoo. She was very concerned that we were going to forget her. So I said, "(Her name, which I can't say), I will never in my whole life forget you. You know why?"
And she exclaims loudly and quite happily, "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!"
2 - When we were eating lunch at the picnic tables at the zoo, we were swarmed by tons of bees. Every one was freaking out, except for me and 'Kentucky'. We just kept eating our food. People were asking us why it didn't bother us. She didn't seem to be paying attention so I said, "it's because us southern gals have dealt with much worse creatures than bees, right?" And without missing a beat, without even shifting her eyes, and completely deadpan she said, "These city girls are afraid of everything."
3 - The resident, who last week I mentioned serenaded me and asked me if I wanted a drink from the bar, etc.., has a pretty poor memory. He sometimes remembers me, but as of late, I think I must remind him of someone he used to know. This has happened twice now, where he got a HUGE smile on his face when he saw me, exclaimed, "There's my girl!" Started playing with my hair and commenting on how he loves my long hair, then started kissing my hand, and asking where my ring was. He is a gentleman, but I def have a flirt on my hands!
4 - Cutest thing: These two very very very little old ladies who are in their late 90's, all hunched over, barely speak, were sitting on complete opposite sides of the room from each other. One comes in and sees the other and catches her eye, she raises her hand and does the cutest little wave to her with one little knobby finger, and smiles. The other one sees her and raises her little knarled curvy fingers and waves back. They both waved like a little kid would, slowly curling their little fingers and smiling at each other. It was soooo cute!!
5 - You really can make someone's day with the simplest gesture. There is a resident who gets more junk mail then I have ever seen in my life. She spends almost all day opening it and reading it with her magnifying glass. She then responds to ALL of it. Every last bit of it. She uses the return address labels that you get sent in your junk mail when they want you to donate to their charity. She has about 3 bags that hang off of her wheelchair at all times that are filled with junk, most of it is mail. Today she asked me to put a handful in the purple bag. Well the purple bag was a paper shopping bag that was completely falling apart. So instead, I went out to my car and grabbed a canvas shopping bag and brought it in and replaced her purple one. She literally was smiling so big. Grinning from ear to ear. She was SO thankful, and was smiling at me across the room for like 5 minutes after that. Just for giving her a better bag.
Ok, there is my super long post and all of my highlights from today. Now to lay on a heating pad and dope up on painkillers from pushing 200lbs in a wheelchair up ramps all over the zoo for several hours today. And to rest my mind from trying to coax Kentucky out of her panic attack at the zoo all day cause she wanted to go home and was cold. I am off for the next two days. See ya on the flip side!
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